no it's not , can't feel it !

I have to celebrate alone ,

because he got compulsions in life

so sad..very

so lonely..

so painful

but nothing i can do

but to say to myself..

Happy anniversary to me

I hope i am really important

I don't know if i am really one

i can't feel it....

i can't even comprehend..

i don't know if the whole thing

got a meaning , got an impact to him

hope it is not just out of pity

hope it is not out of respect

have expressed and told  him that much

but he expresses it in two or three lines

can't be satisfied with those

can't heal and fill even the emptiness

and worries inside me..

nor can it give assurance for me

i felt i don't belong to him

i felt i am  just for nothing..

inside is crying for this

i want to tell myself its okay

but that is more than enough

but inside is screaming

no its not...i can't feel it...

it's okay ..happy anniversary  :(