Saturday, September 8, 2012

no it's not , can't feel it !

I have to celebrate alone ,
because he got compulsions in life
so sad..very
so lonely..
so painful
but nothing i can do
but to say to myself..

Happy anniversary to me
I hope i am really important
I don't know if i am really one
i can't feel it....
i can't even comprehend..
i don't know if the whole thing
got a meaning , got an impact to him
hope it is not just out of pity
hope it is not out of respect
have expressed and told  him that much
but he expresses it in two or three lines
can't be satisfied with those
can't heal and fill even the emptiness
and worries inside me..
nor can it give assurance for me
i felt i don't belong to him
i felt i am  just for nothing..
inside is crying for this
i want to tell myself its okay
but that is more than enough
but inside is screaming
no its not...i can't feel it...

it's okay ..happy anniversary  :(

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