Sunday, July 3, 2011

I am jealous , i am possessive!



Sad Girl










  
(First Friday of the month)


He:   I  will be late tonight.
She: Why, your going out after office?
He:  Yes..
She: A date? With whom? Your inspiration? your crush?
He : No , its the whole team .Will try to unwind since less work we have.
She: Oh.really ?  Every Friday ,you will do it? Friday means fly day?
She : Where are you going?
He: Maybe to the movie house.
She :  What  ? movie house ? It's so dark there?  Who sit beside you ?
He ; Of course a male one!
She :A  big lie!
He: They are fresh grads ,very young , they are like kids , and we go as a team and
       i'd like to forget all my hang ups so decided to go..
She : And so you enjoyed? 
He: Angry you?
She:Don't know ,shayad !
He: Why?
She: Nothing am just jealous!

(Second Friday of the month )
She:  Hey ,it's Friday today? You're going out?
He: Maybe , i will dm you if plan will  push through..
She: Ahhh .don't go...
He: Why ? 
She : Am alone here , am sad !
He:  Hey,its just a short time .i'll be home but just late..
She : Movie again? dark? touching? ggrrrrrrrrrrr
       flirt !
He: That's bad , am not doing any lust things there and besides beside me is a guy.
      am not a gay...Ggrrrrrrrr
She: Okay you enjoy each moment.
He: Why are you so possessive ,so jealous always ?


All human beings have disabilities , no one is created perfect .All has his flaws and imperfections.The thing is , some disabilities are just so obvious and some are unnoticeable .



Each have different styles in carrying their flaws. Some are so good at it ,that no
can hardly sees  or noticed it .Some also don't know how to carry it .that seems life becomes like a movie, all seems to watch.Some also are still in denial .they can't accept that they have that kind defect while 

to some also ,everything they have accepted and turning this imperfections to a positive one.                                   sad



Actually , i don't give a damn to other flaws , i fully understand that all 

have his share. ..  .... ...  .all i care is about ...ME.!

   Flaws that i got is not on physical aspect , it is more on emotional aspect. Yes.its more on
that!. I was born a jealous , and a possessive one. Mind you,having such defect is never easy..it's very hard .I don't like that but i can't help it ..At times i am using a mask for it not to be seen..but no matter how and what mask used still it will be revealed..It's so shameful ,really ! it is! But what to do ,i was made to be such !
   Yes,i know , am suffocating people around. I am doing something about it ,but seems its always a flop. A part of me says i will not be jealous , why should I?  I don't owned him ! 

But other part ,the most loud ,vocal and the untamed always won , no holds barred , no shamed ,she will really speak ! Aahhh i know it irritated him! What to do? seems no remedy for it..if only there's a medicine for this, no matter how expensive  maybe ,surely i will buy  it, so it could not disturb and trouble others...but i guess it does not fall in the realm of Science.

   Many times i kept on promising him that i will improve ,that i will grow ,that i will not expect , that i will not be paranoid about it, but i am just eating my words back ,hence nothing have been fulfilled. Yes, to be fair to myself ,i know am doing my best to win over it but i guess my best wasn't good enough.  It's one of lifes' reality, there are really things which are beyond in our hands ,things which we can never change no matter what we will do. Just like seeing a lame person ,no matter what prosthesis applied or used still it will remain a lame.It's same as me, forever i will be like this, maybe i will no longer gave a promise , it does not make any sense at all ! What best thing to do is manage and control 
 everything ,control in the sense that it could not bring any damage or harm to anyone including myself. I am like this for life maybe...take me as i am...hey, also have some lights ,why to dwell on things which can not be change. 

   I am not Maria nor Eva , I am Angel and this is...ME.



6 comments:

  1. Yes, you are Angel and he should accept you for who you are :) I can say that I'm can be awfully jealous sometimes, but it's normal. If you don't feel jealous, you doesn't love the person real enough. <3

    p.s. hello love! How are you?

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  2. Yes, you are Angel and he should accept you for who you are :) I can say that I'm can be awfully jealous sometimes, but it's normal. If you don't feel jealous, you don't love the person real enough. <3

    p.s. hello love! How are you?

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  3. all good and true. Its my estimation that when you fall so deep the two hearts will be jealous but also dont want to fulfill any urge, perhaps it comes up but it doesnt hold power simply because the love for the other person so greatly otweighs the superficial attraction to anyone outside them. yes you can know each other that well although many marrieds never approach, for many varied reasons

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  4. Perhaps, you are brave enough to say it plainly and casually that you are jealous. I'd rather sigh, smirk and put the phone on the hook. :)

    Cheers,
    Blasphemous Aesthete

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  5. You should go out also until you are both at home and can be happy together?

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  6. @ Haze..i like your line... If you don't feel jealous, you doesn't love the person real enough. <3Really Haze? Yikes! Thanks for your sweet words..hugs..

    @Rivercat...i am speechless !Is that so? Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

    @Blasphemous Anshul...am not brave just shameless and so transparent and i dont live a life in hypocrisy ,what i feel ,i say it without inhibitions...thats ..ME anyways ..thanks as always brilliant poet!

    @eudaimoniac ..hahaha :)) Thanks!

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